Feeling a bit body dysmorphic lately. It’s about almost everything aside from my bump. I really love my bump. What’s been hard is not recognizing my face in photographs. I feel like I’ve lost my face. Not sure if it’s my hairstyle plus the weight gain, or it’s just hormones. Also not entirely happy about my neck in certain angles. I feel awful because when my husband tries to take a photograph of me I hate it. I told him the other day that I feel only photogenic in images I do myself. He joked that well it’s because I curate the image and know exactly what I want. I used to love his candids of me bit me but recently I see the images and I don’t see someone I recognize. I want to share the images I don’t think I look my best in as a way to push myself. In yoga we tend to avoid the postures we need for ourselves, that’s why it’s important to take classes with a teacher because they don’t always know what we don’t like. This is an exercise in feeling uncomfortable because that’s part of life; finding comfort in the uncomfortable.
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Ava Elise
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November 2024
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