33

I came across a post 3 years ago on the last day I was 29. It went like this: “Last day of my 20’s. Spent most of it cleaning, organizing and getting rid of physical clutter. (As well as walking and caring for the babes) I hope to bring with me this energy into my 30’s and apply it to all parts of my life.”

And I kept thinking about the decluttering. Now granted I attempt to do this often, as one does when they’re neurodivergent—it seems rather hard for us to figure out our systems; our brains work against ourselves to actually find the energy to finally create habit. My mother likes to poke fun at me with my constant rearranging and need to get rid of things, because she’ll look at me with “again?” And yes, again.

I kept thinking to myself about the decluttering, and how many times I had to REALLY clean my room, and how many times I REALLY had to minimize things. Yet it always felt, I was here…again. Again I had had to acknowledge that item was not solving anything, that item was in fact a waste of money, that, an item is not actually your style and you really just got caught up in creating a costume for yourself. I am probably being hard on myself, but I always feel this sense of failure when I have to admit I need to declutter (again). For I should have learned my lesson by now?

Thankfully I have my support system here to help me know how to declutter now. People who protect me and love me. When I was learning about 2024 I was told it was going to be a transformative year. I looked at the start of this calendar year with such a vision of what I thought it was going to be and it quickly changed. It was a hard first few months, but with the solar eclipse so close to MY personal “calendar year” I felt the doors closing and others opening.

Declutter. Just as it helps the living space feel comfortable and right, so does it help with the energy we have for others. This year, 33, I plan to honor myself and my family.

Thank you to the people who have shown up for me, and continue to show up for me—I love and care for you more than you know.


Happy Birthday to me ~